Wednesday, December 4, 2013

For All of the Brave Brides

Planning a wedding is hard.

Even if you love planning it, being involved, and can't wait to marry your groom.... it's hard.

You have to make a lot of decisions. It's not just deciding what you like; it's also deciding what you truly value and how you want to express that in your wedding. Often times having to convince others that these things truly matter along the way. It's hard.

Sometimes you have to barter, fight, give speeches, or upset others in the process of carrying out those decisions. It can often leave you feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, and rather bridezilla-like. It's hard.

Take heart, knowing and sticking up for what you value is not being selfish, it is being intentional, careful, and often times extremely conscientious to those you love and the world around you. Be brave.

Do your best to communicate with those around you why you value what you brave.

Tell them that you want to get married in a small town with no hotel accommodations because your grandparents did, and that's important to you. Or that you don't want to get married in a church because you have a diverse group of people attending your wedding and you want everyone to feel accommodated, which is why you want that untraditional outdoor venue.

Explain that the stone in your engagement ring is an emerald because it's your birthstone, or the color of your fiance's eyes, or less detrimental to the environment when it's being mined.

When asked why on earth you planned your wedding for a certain season, explain the significance. We got married in the winter because it's my favorite season, it's when Kyle and I met, and it allowed relatives to stay in town for Christmas and come to our wedding, which they might have missed otherwise.

Whatever your choices, they are important to you and your fiance for a reason, and that's nothing to apologize for. Just make your intentions known and communicate as best you can. Because in the end, you are the ones that your wedding should reflect.

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So this one is for all of you:

To the snow brides, the ones making their own cakes, the purple-gown-wearing, the eco favor deliverer, the destination I-do-er and the sentimental ones.

To the barefoot brides, the lady with the amethyst on her finger, the food allergy accommodate-r and the one in her great-grandmother's wedding gown.

To the younger than average bride, the older than average bride, the Canadian diamond covet-er, the cupcake lover and the one wishing for rain.

For the ones with the visible tattoos, the perfectionists, the crown wearers, the I-don't-have-something-blue-and-I-don't-care-ers, the ones training their dogs to be ring bearers, and the civil ceremony celebrators.

To the nervous ones, the ladies who's man of their dreams didn't line up with everyone's expectations, the flip-flop wearers, the environmentalist, the bad dancers and the kids at heart....

You are brave. You are worth it. What you value is important. Be kind and make it known. Your day should reflect who you are, and you are the only one who knows the whole story. Beginning, middle, and end.

Take heart and be brave.

I guess I have been thinking a lot about weddings recently.

Kyle and I have almost been married for two years now (!) and I often find myself looking back at bits and pieces of our wedding and planning process both good and bad. I find myself reflecting on the decisions we made (or wanted to make) and why we did (or wanted to). What I always come back to is that we wanted our marriage to be more beautiful than our wedding... and it definitely is! :)

My sister just got engaged and is embarking on this exciting, strange, and sometimes overwhelming journey herself. So Jess, this one is for you too.

I would love to hear about your wedding and planning stories! 
Especially times when you had to be brave.
Leave a comment below or contact me via email to share it.

Thank you for Reading,


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